I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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