shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize