yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
