i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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