i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this just has baby written all over it
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
