i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
