I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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