And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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