so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
