I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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