My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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