You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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