he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
