Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
