I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
