I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
