Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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