i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
