I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize