oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize