I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
