His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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