why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
