I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
