did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize