He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
