It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
