meet me or not, i'm out of control
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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