The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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