The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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