it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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