But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
