i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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