I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
