it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
accomplished twins. life is a go
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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