i will never coherently bang her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
