Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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