don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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