What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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