so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
