just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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