I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
