I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
