I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
