I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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