Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
