Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
