i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't deserve a penis
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize