Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize