so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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