my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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