she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
