it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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