He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Operation Purity has been aborted
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize