in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
