Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
