Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
