and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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