My first STD was from a foam party
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
